Frustrations

I am beginning to enter the phase of "this is getting old" again. For the past couple of weeks I have been good with going back and forth to the NICU to see our baby girl, but today it hit me again. I am so tired of not having our little Lucy home with us. It is frustrating to feel this way because in my heart I know she is where she needs to be. I know she is being cared for by wonderful nurses. I know that Lucy is getting stronger, bigger and will soon be home, but for today, it is not soon enough. I feel guilty for not spending more time with her, but seriously, I can not handle sitting and rocking all day long. My butt and legs more so can't handle it. My bottom half is so crampy some nights by the time bedtime rolls around.

I am frustrated too because they changed her feeding time back to her old schedule. So once again some of her meals fall on shift change, meaning we can't be there to feed her. Makes me mad today. Really, we made it work originally and we'll make it work again but it really limits us as parents and what we can do. Annoying.

So with my frustration I scrapbooked. Scrapping is my therapy, I truly can feel the frustration leave as I think back and enjoy memories. I scrapped this past Christmas, when we told our families we were expecting. The joy and excitement our families had was so fun! And now we have our little bundle of gassy joy (her tummy has been so upset the past few days, very sad). It is amazing to think that God has entrusted this tiny, sweet baby to A and I. We are her parents and we are to care for her, love her and raise in Christ. What an honor to be Mommy and Daddy.

Being Lucy's mommy I will not complain too much because I do want what is best for her. So I continue to encourage her to rest, to grow, to eat, and I love and comfort her when she cries out in discomfort and pain. That is what mommys do. And if it must be in the NICU for awhile longer, I will be there. Because that is where part of my heart is and my life. A and I are so blessed, so blessed. And I will not forget God's blessings throughout this entire NICU adventure. It is only through Christ that we have our little miracle babe and I give thanks hundreds of times a day.

So again, I am off, for a 3rd time, to see my sweetpea and give her her bath. Good times!