Frustrations

I am beginning to enter the phase of "this is getting old" again. For the past couple of weeks I have been good with going back and forth to the NICU to see our baby girl, but today it hit me again. I am so tired of not having our little Lucy home with us. It is frustrating to feel this way because in my heart I know she is where she needs to be. I know she is being cared for by wonderful nurses. I know that Lucy is getting stronger, bigger and will soon be home, but for today, it is not soon enough. I feel guilty for not spending more time with her, but seriously, I can not handle sitting and rocking all day long. My butt and legs more so can't handle it. My bottom half is so crampy some nights by the time bedtime rolls around.

I am frustrated too because they changed her feeding time back to her old schedule. So once again some of her meals fall on shift change, meaning we can't be there to feed her. Makes me mad today. Really, we made it work originally and we'll make it work again but it really limits us as parents and what we can do. Annoying.

So with my frustration I scrapbooked. Scrapping is my therapy, I truly can feel the frustration leave as I think back and enjoy memories. I scrapped this past Christmas, when we told our families we were expecting. The joy and excitement our families had was so fun! And now we have our little bundle of gassy joy (her tummy has been so upset the past few days, very sad). It is amazing to think that God has entrusted this tiny, sweet baby to A and I. We are her parents and we are to care for her, love her and raise in Christ. What an honor to be Mommy and Daddy.

Being Lucy's mommy I will not complain too much because I do want what is best for her. So I continue to encourage her to rest, to grow, to eat, and I love and comfort her when she cries out in discomfort and pain. That is what mommys do. And if it must be in the NICU for awhile longer, I will be there. Because that is where part of my heart is and my life. A and I are so blessed, so blessed. And I will not forget God's blessings throughout this entire NICU adventure. It is only through Christ that we have our little miracle babe and I give thanks hundreds of times a day.

So again, I am off, for a 3rd time, to see my sweetpea and give her her bath. Good times!

Happy Father's Day

This has been a fun week. It started off with Father's Day! Austin received a super cute card from Auntie L and Uncle N. The front of the card had some cute feet, like these feet.

And the card said "first da-da's day". It was very cute.

I think daddy Austin had a nice daddy's day. He spent time with his best friend, his cute daughter and even had supper with his little wife. It was a good day!

We love you daddy! And we think you are the best! We give thanks that you are in our life and can't wait to celebrate many fathers days in the future. Love you daddy!

Ready, Set, Go!

Look at me everyone! I tried the bottle for the first time and it wasn't too bad. Granted I had to work. That's right, I had to work in order to get the milk out of the bottle. But my OT said I did what I was suppose to with sucking a few times, and then pausing to swallow, breath and all that jazz. Then I would start sucking again and repeat. It tuckered me out pretty quickly. But I got 7 mLs out of the bottle so I am proud of myself. I kept my eyes shut tightly because I did not want to look at what was going on. But once I was in my mommy's arms then I felt safe enough to take a peek, and I knew that meant I was done doing the work. I know how to work the system :) Anyway, mommy and Auntie Ellie cheered me on and I felt like a pretty big girl. (Especially now that I wear clothing). Anyway, it's bed time and I am actually kangarooing with daddy right now so I am going to get back to that. Love you lots family!

(what Miss L probably would have said, if she could vocalize words)

It's That Time, Again

It's been 26 days since our Miss L was born and what an adventure it has been. This adventure has had its ups and downs, and waiting moments, and twists and turns. Overall A and I have handled the adventure as best as we can. I am ready though for this roller coaster to end, Miss L to come home and energy to return to our weary bodies.

Getting so big! (32 wks gestation)

But with that said, A and I have so much to give thanks for. Our little L is doing phenomenal! She is making huge strives every week and I can't believe how far we have come. The end is almost in sight and it makes me nervous. I don't want to get too excited or even think moving home is coming but slowly it is coming and I say Thank you Lord!

Tomorrow Miss L will try eating from the bottle for the first time and I am nervous a little. I think the reason is because L will outwardly need to "perform", do the eating herself. All the other tasks that needed to be achieved were done inwardly, like growing. L did not have to physically perform growing, it just happened with time. But either way, if Miss L succeeds or fails, I will be there cheering her on, loving her and telling her that I am proud of how she did. And I will walk with her through the next feeds for as long as it takes. I have learned that from the best mom I could ask for. Thanks mom for the great example you have been to me!

Look Ma, I'm wearing clothes!

Well, bed is calling and I am done pumpin' for the night so enjoy the pics of my beautiful miracle, know the Jesus loves you and rest peacefully this evening!